Family Conflict and Tips Part 2: Weddings

Weddings are a stressful time for the families of both the bride and the groom. However, weddings become more stressful for the bride and groom. Fights and arguments occur, families take sides, and sometimes weddings are even called off. So why does this happen? Why are weddings called off? Normally, when basic core issues exist between the bride and groom, they may arise at the most stressful times. Therefore, weddings are usually the most stressful times and this is when couples will argue the most. So what type of issues may arise?



Issues that may have already existed within the relationship include lack of communication, isolation, selfishness, and lack of understanding.

Lack of communication occurs when an individual (s) does not want to speak. Why? Perhaps it is the personality of the individual who does not like to speak. These are introverted individuals and generally keep to themselves. So when one person in the relationship continues to do the talking, but does not involve the other party, issues will arise. Issues may even be bottled up throughout the relationship due to the lack of communication. Therefore, all of the issues may just resurface and need to be resolved. Couples must communicate openly, calmly, and diplomatically in order to overcome any issues.

Isolation may occur when one party within the relationship feels that he/she is feeling lonely. Isolation may occur when one party does not have the "back" or support from the other individual. So what should be done? Well the party that feels isolated or alone should communicate. Without communication, resentment will build up and issues will continue to resurface, which may result in calling off the wedding, etc.

Selfishness may occur when one party take more than giving. How does this happen? Well it can occur blatantly where one party continues to take without contributing anything to the relationship. The other party may continue to give just to ensure that the other person is happy. Why? Because if one person is happy, so is the other person. This can occur when an individual is very giving and nurturing. The latter may occur unintentionally because the personality of the individual who gives is very sweet and giving. However, the main element to remember is that both parties must give equally. If you think you are taking more than contributing, then take a step back and give back. This is extremely important if you love your partner.

Lack of understanding may occur amongst couples as they may not be on the same level of thinking. For example, I recently came upon an issue where one individual in the relationship understood "simple" as different meaning than his partner. Partner A wanted a "simple" wedding. Partner B assumed "simple" meant that it would be a one day affair and not seven days of pure celebration. Therefore, Partner B ensured that the wedding was only a one day celebration. However, after the couple fought, it was discovered that the meaning of "simple" for Partner A meant a wedding without any drama. However, Partner B knew that drama occurs in all situations, so that was to be expected. This is an example of how couples may think differently. Therefore, misunderstandings can occur. Again, the key here is communication. Open communication is the key to a successful relationship.

Presented on behalf of Group Whynot.